Monday, January 3, 2011

My Bubble: A Ghost Of The Past Came To Visit ...

"The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now" says Bill Cosby, the famous American comedian, actor, author, television producer, educator, musician and activist.

On a rational day, it inspires me to forge ahead in my quest to re-invent my life ... a challenge that remains a struggle and made worst every time a ghost of the past came to visit. How timely it has chosen to pay a visit this time ... right on the eve of a brand new year!

All the excitement of welcoming the new year just came to a halt! The ideas, the plans ... nothing mattered anymore when my spirit was so oppressed by the memories of the darkest hours in my life. Time may have healed the wounds (more like a deep pitless stabs) but the scars are far from disappearing!

I have fought a lonely fight ... going against the current that would have sucked me into the depths of despair and depression if I had not held on to my sanity and my vacillating will to survive. There are days I wanted to give in but somehow I've managed to find strength through my blog ... I'm grateful.

Peaks and valleys in my life ... what had been the meaning of this visit? Is it a sign that I am to face another beating in my life?

Dear ghost of the past, I may have lost 2 days of 2011 but I am now empowered to embrace the balance 363 days with all its challenges ... you have awakened the giant in me.  I am no more the same person I used to be.  I dare you to visit again because I will be ready to crushed you with all my might and send you scampering into oblivion!

2 Bubbles:

Somehow tha holidays manage to bring out bad memories along with the good. We hold onto one because they're pleasant. I'm not sure why we hold onto the others--but it's great to face them and let them know they don't control us.

Greta post Wenny!

Actually, this is not brought on by the holidays. It has been hanging over my head for the past 3 years now.

It feels like a solo flight since I'm unable to share this with anyone at all. It's emotional draining every time it comes around. The rage is beyond control but I'm fighting on. The scar is already there no matter how. My only hope is that the scar becomes invisible to my eyes as time goes by.