Saturday, October 3, 2015

The Perceived Self-Confidence

Someone told me, "You're very self-confident!". But the same person had also said that my confidence can be intimidating too.  Alright I get it! 

I'm a very confident person to the extent that people feel intimidated by me.  Really ... is it my fault?

My confidence is built on a half century's life experiences, knowledge and skills.  You can know my name but not my story.  You can hear and see what I can do but not the journey I've been through to realize them.  I've been to hell and back but I absorbed ... I compromised ... I learned ... I adapted ... I improvised ... I apologized and I forgave.  So please don't be too quick to judge me for you don't know the battles I've fought to be able to put my value on your table.  This is me and do not expect me to change for any lesser.

Somehow it is so easy to judge from afar.  If you were to step into my shoes today and walk in them, you will know the mounting pressure I'm facing as I only have 2 more weeks left to meet my 35km mark in my mileage training.  One week of tapering after that and it's do or DNF!

Being a second try at this annual running event is not helping.  As the day draws near, the confidence is fast waning.  Right now, I must admit I am battling with myself not chicken out into a DNS!

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